I've learned some lessons the hard way.

Like the fact that,

it's not always good to deep-dive into some things;

they should be left untouched.

'Cause when we try to know what's inside,

more often we spoil it.

Like the case with the equations.

Letters & symbols separated...

on the two sides of an "equals to";

balanced -

conveying a universal truth;

look beautiful when seen from a distance.

But when you start to uncover,

the meanings behind the arrangement -

things get messy,

and you leave it.

Like when we were close.

Even though we never met in-person,

we crossed boundaries;

together.

We felt each other's presence.

We kissed, we did apodyopsis.

(Yes, I confess it overtly.)

But when the darkest secrets from our past,

began to unravel, the comfort was gone.

You left, eventually.

I remember you used to say, "I'm there for you always."

First time I realised that:

'Always' doesn't mean 'Forever';

It never did.

Like here I am, stalking you.

Giving myself a quick hit of dopamine,

time-to-time;

thinking & realising that;

starving myself of it won't work in the long run.

I need to stay sane & keep going.

After all, I still love you -

and for me it's still worth it.

Like facing the truth that,

to detach from someone,

you don't need to hate 'em;

you just need to accept that,

if you're stronger enough.

Or if you feel that,

you're emotionally ready & capable,

you need to make sure that...

you think very little about it.

Like the fact that it's true,

that loving someone means -

you're glad someone exists on this planet;

that you like most of the things about them,

even though you might never meet.

It's both beautiful & terrible. :)